Oh... great. I don't have an external drive.
I don't suppose putting the stock Linux on a USB drive like I did OS X would work?
Apparently, wonky speaker wiring has been known to happen. But since I've also read in the forum about people doing all sorts of exciting and physical things to their Minis, I'm sure the units are pretty well-designed (if not always properly manufactured).
Except the stock keyboard I have... who the heck puts the ' in that position
The replacement US-Intl keyboard, which will now get to me before a replacement Mini, should clear that up.
As for Dell support - I never did tell them what OS I was using since the diagnostics they were going through at the time were entirely OS-independent or dealt with the BIOS screen.
But I hit that point where I thought, 'you know what? I've been on this phone for an hour talking with someone who's entirely too polite and reading from a script and it seems we're going to be only half way through this process and there's no diagnostic yet (I asked) about hardware testing that I'm really pretty sure save us all a lot of time and I didn't pay over $500CAN for this thing to have to go through this only two weeks into ownership.'
I'll do a final Carbon Copy Cloner just before I put Ubuntu back on and that should be that.
Except... I still don't have an external (and when putting OS X on, I couldn't find anyone with an external).