Well, it DOES come with 3 USB ports, but only two of mine actually work, so they were (mostly) correct!
Anyway, it turns out I got mine, but actually cancelled it successfully with Costco (and got the confirmation e-mail...) but then it arrived anyway. Hence, I have no evidence that I actually paid for it. I don't plan on keeping it for this reason...
However, I'm not sure where (or how!) to return it. Since Costco actually cancelled my order, it does not exist. Dell has no record of it, because the order was placed through Costco. Who do I call, and where do I send it back to??